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Essential Life Skills For Lifelong Recovery

Written by Enlightened Recovery on . Posted in Addiction, Family Recovery, Healthy Living, Mental Health, Recovery, Relationships, Sober Living. No Comments on Essential Life Skills For Lifelong Recovery

Empathy and Compassion: Living with compassion and empathy is not something many would call an essential life skill. However, in order to be a good human who does good things on earth, empathy and compassion is a must. We are tasked in recovery to always reach out our hands. As the saying in Alcoholics Anonymous goes, “love and tolerance is our code”. We are inherently self centered human beings. After developing an addiction, we tend to be even more selfish. Empathy and compassion are the ways in which we connect with others and step outside of ourselves in order to connect with someone else. Our relationships and connections with people are made deeper by practicing empathy and compassion.

  • Time management: Change is the only constant, it is said, and time is constantly changing. We only have so many waking hours in a day, days in a week, and so on. How we use our time is incredibly important because we’re either wasting it or making the most of it. Learning how to use a calendar, schedule appointments, prioritize activities, and make enough time for self-care in a day are essential life skills.
  • Asking for help: People who have had to make the decision to ask for help in finding treatment understand how life saving this life skill can be. We can’t possible know it all. In order to get things done, we often have to ask for help. Help you help yourself by feeling no shame when it comes to asking for assistance with something.
  • Active listening: We can go our entire lives without really listening to what someone has to say. From instructions to suggestions to someone’s expression of their needs, if we don’t actively and reflectively listen we miss out on what is being said.
  • Meditation: Taking time to quiet the mind is more than calming- it helps grow new brain muscle memory, reduces symptoms of stress, reduces intensity of mental health disorders, and radically improves health.
  • Financial Management: Some people never learn how to manage their money. Living in chronic debt or without any money can lead to stress and hardship which could eventually cause someone to relapse. Money comes and goes. Learning how to manage finances for the long term and the short term are essential for reducing stress and creating a sense of security.
  • Healthy Living: Eating organic, having a balanced diet, staying nutritionally well, and having basic cooking skills are all a part of healthy living. Your long term future depends on your physical health as much as it does your mental wellbeing.
  • Communication: communication is a part of everyday life >learning how to communicate honestly, tactfully, and articulately is helpful in every single area of life.

Enlightened Recovery believes that people entering recovery for an addiction are in need of developing or redeveloping essential life skills for life after treatment. If you or a loved one are ready to learn a new way of being, call us today for more information, 833-801-5483.

Supporting A Loved One Who Has Experienced Sexual Assault

Written by Enlightened Recovery on . Posted in Family Recovery. No Comments on Supporting A Loved One Who Has Experienced Sexual Assault

According to RAINN, the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network, an American is sexually assaulted every 109 seconds. Out of every 1,000 perpetrators, only 6 will end up in prison to pay for their crime.

 

Listen To Their Story

Our cultural environment tends to play the role of the non believer when it comes to listening to stories of sexual assault. We like to blame the victim for not doing enough to protect themselves or change the situation. Sexual assault is highly stigmatized in our society, leaving victims of sexual assault feeling a double dose of shame. One of the best things you can do if your loved one has experienced sexual assault is listen to them actively. Active listening means creating the space to totally hear what they have to say without interruption, question, or judgment. After they are done, thank them for sharing, and remind them you are hear to listen to them.

 

Learn More About Sexual Assault

Sexual assault is not just rape. Men and women are groped, mistreated, and physically/sexually abused each day. Around the country there are trainings on stopping sexual assault, caring for someone who has been sexually assaulted, and learning more about consent. Sexual assault can be traumatizing resulting in ongoing effects similar to those of PTSD which can include symptoms of depression and anxiety.

 

Encourage A Report

Millions of sexual assault survivors go without making an official report. Many feel a report only brings them more shame and judgment, that they are never taken seriously. A report should still be made, as well as a full physical inspection. Support them by telling them you’ll be by their side.

 

Understand Their Sensitivity

We live in a sex driven culture that often doesn’t consider the depth of its jokes. Understand that for years to come, your loved one might be sensitive to the hypersexuality around them. What might seem like a harmless joke may be a deeply disturbing trigger for them. Try to act respectful toward sex, sexuality, and topics of sexual violence.

 

Enlightened Recovery supports the treatment of substance use disorders which are co-occurring with mild or severe PTSD. Our facility is certified to treat dual diagnosis clients in order to meet all of their needs for recovery. Call us today to learn more about our programs, 833-801-5483.

Is “Neediness” Really Emotional Starvation?

Written by Enlightened Recovery on . Posted in Family Recovery. No Comments on Is “Neediness” Really Emotional Starvation?

In a letter to an anonymous note, Dr. Jonice Webb answers a very common question in psychology: is there such a thing as a needy child? Dr. Webb answers: No.

The anonymous author explained that her mother repeatedly informed her that she was a needy child often wanting to be held, was dramatic, and shy in school. Many children and adult children of alcoholics or dysfunctional families face such criticism from parents. Typically, the parent’s accusations are meant out of malice rather than to be constructive in any way. Children, especially young children, are inherently needy. They are in need of parental love, attention, affection, and support. Unfortunately, not all parents are mentally well when they decide to have children. They take their own childhoods and mental illness out on their children in damaging or destructive ways. “Many parents don’t realize that their job is not simply to provide for their children an raise them,” Dr. Webb explains, “they’re also supposed to respond to their children’s emotions.”

As an addict or alcoholic in the recovery process can relate, there is little responding to emotion when you are so disconnected from your own. Mental illness, and the presence of harmful substances, skews the mind from functioning normally. Spiritually speaking, the mind becomes occupied with matters of the self, leaving little room for divine intervention or empathy for other people.

Dr. Webb immediately explains that there is no such thing as a needy child, but there is such a thing as a child who is emotionally starved. Needy adults are characterized by their driving desire for those same things a neglected child is- that same love, affection and attention. “Growing up emotionally ignored results in growing up with a tendency to ignore yourself,” she explains. “How can you know yourself when your parents never knew you? How can you feel that you’re lovable when you didn’t feel love from those who brought you into this world and are supposed to love you first and best?”

Recovering from drug and alcohol addiction often includes recovering from a painful childhood and past. Through the therapeutic process of recovery, the underlying issues which led to addictive behaviors are discovered. For adult children of emotionally void homes, drugs and alcohol provided a solace and access to feelings of love. Additionally, substances also provided an escape from the emotional pain.

Mental Health is a Problem for Children in School

Written by Enlightened Recovery on . Posted in Family Recovery, Mental Health, Treatments. No Comments on Mental Health is a Problem for Children in School

Addiction is both a disease of its own and a symptom of others. The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous aptly states that “our liquor was but a symptom.” Increasingly, addiction, alcoholism, or general substance use disorder is being dually diagnosed. Dual-diagnosis refers to the two-prong diagnosis of substance abuse and other mental health disorder. Depression, anxiety, and ADHD are three of the most common dual-diagnosis issues found in conjunction with substance use. Without the early intervention and treatment of mental health disorders, substance abuse can develop as a coping mechanism.

Mental Health and School Children

NPR reports that in the United States, one out of every five school children shows signs of mental illness (in a given school year). Problematically, upwards of 80% of children who demonstrate symptoms of mental illness and may have it will not be treated for it. Untreated mental illness in the early stages of development tends to worsen through the hormonal changes of puberty. Entering teenagehood when adolescents are naturally beginning to experiment with drugs and alcohol, a young adult with preexisting mental illness will be prone to addiction.

Addiction is not the only problem that can be created by untreated mental illness in school-age children. Unless there is an active parent supporting their specific needs in learning, a child will suffer academically. As a result, they will likely receive criticism, ridicule, and punishment from their learning institutions. Wishing to avoid humiliation and frustration, they might start skipping classes, underperforming academically, and turning to drugs for escape.

A similar occurrence happens in much of the treatment industry. Though dual diagnosis is becoming more common, many treatment centers are not equipped to work with such clients. Enlightened Recovery is a certified and licensed dual-diagnosis treatment facility. In uncertified facilities, they might view the symptomology of mental illness as a lack of willingness, lack of motivation, or problematic behavior. So, just like acting up in school, patients in treatment will begin to rebel. Sadly, their frustrations will lead to discharge and potential relapse.

Recognizing and treating co-occurring mental illness disorders in addiction patients is critical at any age or stage of development.

Get Help Today

If you are concerned you or a loved one may be suffering from a mental disorder that is causing complications such as substance abuse, contact Enlightened Recovery today.

ACOA Traits by Geoff Flower

Written by Enlightened Recovery on . Posted in Addiction, Alcoholism, Family Recovery.

This week our Enlightened Recovery partial care group were educated on Adult Children Of Alcoholics (ACOA) traits.  We have found that many of our clients have grown up in families in which substance abuse has been present.  Addiction is a family disease and it affects all members of the family.  According to ‘Adult Children of Alcoholics – The Expanded Edition’ by Janet G. Woititz, Ed.D the typical characteristics of alcoholic families include;

1. Adult children of alcoholics guess at what normal behavior is.

2. Adult children of alcoholics have difficulty following a project through from beginning to end.

3. Adult children of alcoholics lie when it would be just as easy to tell the truth.

4. Adult children of alcoholics judge themselves without mercy.

5. Adult children of alcoholics have difficulty having fun.

6. Adult children of alcoholics take themselves very seriously.

7. Adult children of alcoholics have difficulty with intimate relationships.

8. Adult children of alcoholics overreact to changes over which they have no control.

9. Adult children of alcoholics constantly seek approval and affirmation.

10. Adult children of alcoholics usually feel that they are different from other people.

11. Adult children of alcoholics are super responsible or super irresponsible.

12. Adult children of alcoholics are extremely loyal, even in the face of evidence that the loyalty is undeserved.

13. Adult children of alcoholics are impulsive. They tend to lock themselves into a course of action without giving serious consideration to alternative behaviors or possible consequences. This impulsively leads to confusion, self-loathing and loss of control over their environment. In addition, they spend an excessive amount of energy cleaning up the mess.

We worked collaboratively on identifying and processing how these characteristics have contributed to their own addictive behaviors thus influencing their past and current interpersonal relationships. The group engaged in different psychodramas depicting the distorted communication pattens within the family.  Client’s were given the opportunity to practice healthier interactions in order establish more adaptive ways of being able to communicate needs for support within their recovery.

Breaking these patterns that have been engrained over a period of time is not easily done. The intention behind providing ACOA themed groups is to assist our clients in normalizing these dysfunctional pattens of behavior in order to bring about the beginnings of necessary changes.  This is integral to the ability of our clients to move forward and build healthy meaningful relationships to aid in their recovery from addiction.