Skip to main content

The Harm in Avoidance

Written by Enlightened Recovery on . Posted in Healthy Living, Mental Health. No Comments on The Harm in Avoidance

Our addictions and mental health issues can affect us in such dramatic ways that we develop a default coping strategy of avoidance. Because we so desperately don’t want to feel our pain anymore, we try to avoid it thinking this will help us to reduce how deeply we’re affected.  We soon come to see, though, that avoidance not only doesn’t help, it exacerbates the issue. Avoidance prevents true healing from taking place.

When we avoid the things that bother us, they become more overpowering. We feel increasingly more triggered by and sensitive about our particular issues. Our habits of avoidance can interrupt our lives in meaningful ways. We might isolate ourselves from other people out of fear that we will be hurt and to avoid feeling triggered by them. When we feel particularly triggered by certain people, we might avoid them altogether, causing our relationships to become estranged and distant. Often our loved ones don’t understand the impact their words or actions have on us, especially if we ourselves aren’t aware of them and haven’t been able to articulate our feelings to them.

Our avoidance can lead us directly to the addictive substances and behaviors that offer us some relief from our pain. We realize eventually that this relief is only temporary, and it is a form of escapism, not genuine healing. Our addictions become devastating manifestations of our avoidance. Many of us have been running from our issues for so long that we forgot what they were in the first place. We’re not conscious of what our original trauma was or why we’re in so much pain. We’ve buried our complicated emotions under layers of drugs, unhealthy relationships, self-destructive behaviors and toxic thought patterns.

Avoidance can cause us to develop harmful habits of denial and dishonesty. We can lie to ourselves and to the people in our lives in order to hide how severe our problem has become. We can be in denial for so long that we start to believe our lies and convince ourselves we’re fine. Denial can be dangerous and can be the fuel our addictions need to thrive.

Working to shed our habits of avoidance means making the conscious decision that we deserve better, that we deserve to heal. Choosing to face our problems head on can be some of the hardest emotional work we’ll ever do, but it is a crucial step in our recovery. If we remain avoidant, we only perpetuate our addictions and allow them to have control over us.

At Enlightened Recovery, we have the supportive staff, comprehensive resources and effective methodologies to help you in your recovery. Call us today: (833) 801-LIVE.

Healing Our Toxic Energy

Written by Enlightened Recovery on . Posted in 12 Step Program, Healthy Living. No Comments on Healing Our Toxic Energy

When we are working towards recovery, abstaining from our addictive drugs and behaviors is only half the battle. We also must heal our energy that has been adversely affected by our struggle with addiction. Our energy is made up of our thoughts, emotions, fears, habits and behaviors. Our energy can dictate our moods, patterns and cycles. Having unhealed energy can mean we’re manifesting more struggle rather than the healing we’re hoping for. Healing our toxic energy is a crucial step in our recovery process.

We often are unaware of our energy and whether or not it is healthy. Our energy is often something we don’t have a conscious understanding of. Energy operates on unconscious and subconscious levels, and the first step in healing it is becoming conscious of it. We can start by paying more attention to our feelings and our moods. How do you feel when you first wake up? If you’re filled with anxiety upon waking, for example, your energy is one of fear. How do your emotions and moods fluctuate throughout the day, how do they operate, and how do they cause you to act? Are you filled with anger and resentment? Are you worried, stressed, pessimistic or negative?

Take note of how you’re treating the people around you. How would you describe your relationships? Are you easily frustrated and impatient with other people? Do you find yourself treating people with unkindness and disrespect, and then feeling ashamed afterwards? Are you often involved in some kind of conflict, tension or interpersonal disharmony? Do you trust people or do you keep them at a distance? How do you resolve conflict? Are you able to listen and communicate in healthy ways?

Take inventory of your self-talk. Do you speak to and about yourself in disparaging or uplifting ways? Are the words you choose full of negativity and self-hatred? Are you constantly beating yourself up, criticizing yourself, judging yourself and knocking yourself down? All of these are signs you have unhealed, toxic energy within you dictating the ways in which you feel about yourself.

Once we’ve grown our conscious awareness about the energy we’re carrying within ourselves, we have a better understanding with which to heal it. Energy practices we can use to heal ourselves include meditation, prayer, reiki, tapping and energy clearing. We can work with a spiritual guide or therapist to address our unhealed energy. The more we actively work to create positive energy within ourselves, the stronger our foundation is for healing and recovery.

The community at Enlightened Recovery is here to provide you with the support, encouragement, love and care that come from our own personal experience with recovery. Call (833) 801-LIVE today to start your journey towards healing.

The Danger of Judging Ourselves

Written by Enlightened Recovery on . Posted in 12 Step Program, Healthy Living. No Comments on The Danger of Judging Ourselves

When struggling with addiction, one of the most common emotional pitfalls we can find ourselves falling into is internalizing and absorbing society’s judgment of addiction and addicts and turning that judgment onto ourselves. We start to believe the things we hear – that addiction is not a real thing, that addicts are bad people and criminals, that we use our addiction as an excuse for bad behavior. We start to judge ourselves and think about ourselves disparagingly. Why is this self-judgment so dangerous?

When we are working towards recovery, we need all the support we can get. We need all the inner resources and strength we can muster. Self-judgment depletes our inner strength, our confidence and our sense of self. We start to believe that we can’t recover and that we’re doomed to a life of active addiction. We knock ourselves down rather than building ourselves up. Our self-talk becomes cruel. The voice we’re listening to all day every day is full of self-hatred. We’re up against not only the force of our addiction but our own self-disparagement as well. We deny ourselves of hope, optimism and positivity. Our energy becomes full of negativity and cynicism.

When we judge ourselves harshly, we’re more likely to relapse because we’re not giving ourselves our own support and encouragement. We’re putting ourselves down. Our negative energy taints everything we do, from the habits we perpetuate to the relationships we choose. We’re manifesting with an energy of pessimism which brings about the circumstances we don’t want rather than the ones we do. We give up on ourselves. We lose faith in ourselves. We stop believing in our ability to heal ourselves. Self-judgement can be the catalyst for our self-destructiveness. Feeling bad about ourselves can be the reason we self-harm.

When we find ourselves judging ourselves, we can make the conscious choice to turn that judgment around and choose compassion instead. Ask yourself, would you be so judgmental of someone else, someone who was struggling with depression and emotional pain, or a physical illness? Addiction is just as debilitating and destructive, and those struggling with it deserve to be understood and embraced rather than judged and rejected. You are no different. You are battling a tremendously painful illness, and just because it can operate invisibly and be less easily recognizable than other illnesses, doesn’t mean it is any less difficult. Choose to be kind to yourself. Surround yourself with people who understand addiction. Be in community with other people in recovery. Self-judgment is dangerous. Let’s work to eradicate this judgment in ourselves so that we can empower ourselves to heal.

The staff at Enlightened Recovery has a combined 45+ years invested in our personal recoveries, and we have assisted in the restoration of countless lives. We can help you too. Call us at (833) 801-LIVE today.

The Challenges of the Holiday Season

Written by Enlightened Recovery on . Posted in Healthy Living, Recovery. No Comments on The Challenges of the Holiday Season

The holiday season is most commonly associated with cheer, joy and nostalgia. Our cultural traditions are intended to bring us together with family and friends to celebrate gratitude and appreciation with loved ones. For many of us, however, this time of year brings with it some very real challenges that can make the season stressful rather than joyful. We can be filled with fear, anxiety and sadness rather than with the merriment the holidays are traditionally known for.

Some of the challenges we face with the holiday season come from the fact that we don’t have the family or other close relationships that other people are joyfully celebrating this time of year. We can feel an acute sense of loneliness seeing other people with their loved ones when we aren’t able to be with ours. For some of us, we have isolated ourselves so much that we no longer have close relationships to benefit from. Our addictions might have caused so much damage to our relationships that we are now totally estranged from them. We might have lost our loved ones, and this time of year serves as a painful reminder of our grief.

The sadness and loneliness we feel are some of the emotions we grew accustomed to avoiding through our addictions. The holiday season can make us want to return to our old behaviors to escape the pain we’re feeling. We might find ourselves feeling anxious and afraid that we’ll relapse. We can find ourselves tempted by the holiday parties and celebrations that are often centered around alcohol. We might be spending time with people who themselves are not sober and who might not realize the difficulties we’re having. The heightened emotions and temptation surrounding the holidays can be overwhelming, and we might find ourselves increasingly worried about relapsing.

There are some ways we can handle the challenges of the holiday season. One of the most important things we can do for ourselves is to prepare and plan ahead. We can plan which parties we attend and choose events hosted by other sober people in recovery. We can plan ahead to attend extra meetings whenever we’re feeling particularly challenged. We can make a plan with our sponsor to communicate more than usual. We can ask our loved ones to support our efforts and make parties more inclusive of people who don’t drink. The holiday season can be overwhelming, but with preparation, we can allow ourselves to partake in its fun and celebration rather than becoming depressed and risking relapse.

At Enlightened Recovery, we believe that every addict can recover. We want to help you remember that life can be full of happiness and enjoyable experiences. Call (833) 801-LIVE today.

Prioritizing Our Peace of Mind

Written by Enlightened Recovery on . Posted in 12 Step Program, Healthy Living. No Comments on Prioritizing Our Peace of Mind

When we are struggling with addiction, depression, anxiety and other mental health issues, we often tend not to prioritize our own well-being and peace of mind. We place more importance on everything else in our lives – our families and relationships, our obligations and responsibilities, and the lifestyles that allow us to maintain our addictions. Getting high becomes our primary focus, along with avoiding the difficult emotions we’re afraid to face. When we make the life changing decision to work towards recovery, we learn that we have no choice other than to prioritize our peace of mind.

When we realize how important our internal peace is to the rest of our lives and to our overall health, we learn that there are some things we must shed. We go through an elimination process where we remove the things and people that no longer serve us. We separate ourselves from toxic relationships. We work to discontinue the destructive habits that facilitated our addictive behaviors. We begin to create lifestyles focused on health and wellness rather than on self-harm.

This process can bring up some challenging emotions we might not have been prepared for. We might feel grief to lose people in our lives with whom we were close but who contributed to inner turmoil. We might feel resistance when we have to drop the habits we’ve become so accustomed to. We may want to cling to our former lives and all the ways in which we self-identified. We might feel frustrated with the complicated recovery process and overwhelmed with how much more is involved than simply abstaining from our drug or behavior of choice. We might feel afraid to venture forward, uncertain of what’s to come. We can be filled with anxiety and trepidation.

All of these feelings are normal and natural. When we’re ready to prioritize our peace of mind, we realize that we must be brave and move through the fear and other challenging emotions that arise. When we work through this process, we come to know that a healthier and more empowered version of ourselves is waiting on the other side. We come into this new sense of self with renewed joy and purpose. We feel more fulfilled within ourselves. We feel as though we’ve come home to ourselves. Prioritizing our peace of mind enables us to open all of these important doors for ourselves and venture confidently into a life of recovery and wellness.

If you are like many of us and feel trapped and controlled by your addiction, know that you are not alone and that there is hope. Enlightened Recovery is here to help you find your way. Call (833) 801-LIVE today to get the care and support you deserve.

Grounding Exercises to Help You Feel Secure and Balanced

Written by Enlightened Recovery on . Posted in Alternative Therapy, Healthy Living. No Comments on Grounding Exercises to Help You Feel Secure and Balanced

One of the reasons we experience extreme mental and emotional health challenges is because oftentimes we aren’t grounded or centered within ourselves. To help us manage our thoughts, moods and emotions, we can practice grounding and centering exercises.

When we don’t feel grounded, it is often because we have an imbalance in our root chakra. This energy center governs our sense of stability, security and safety. When our root chakra is balanced, we feel rooted in our purpose, confident about who we are, centered in ourselves. We feel stable and secure in our daily lives. When our root chakra is out of balance, we often feel highly anxious and depressed. We can feel lost, confused, distracted and unmotivated. We might feel overwhelmed and stressed. We might feel like we don’t have a sense of direction or purpose, we might not feel at home in our own skin, and we might be struggling to feel at peace within ourselves.

Everything in our lives can knock us off center if we allow it to. Interpersonal dynamics, daily stresses, challenging life experiences. When we are grounded and centered within ourselves, we feel a stronger sense of resilience. We feel better able to handle our thoughts and feelings. We feel confident facing challenges. We can bounce back more easily from setbacks. We can better protect ourselves from extreme breakdowns in our mental, emotional and physical health.

Here are some simple grounding exercises you can try.

Walking barefoot in nature is a powerful grounding tool. Feel yourself connecting to the power of the earth underneath you. Embrace the magnificent beauty of the natural world and remind yourself that you are a part of it. Know you are being supported by the universe. Walking meditation is a wonderful healing technique you can easily incorporate into your self-care routine.

Visualize yourself rooting downward into the earth. We are connected to the land. Allow yourself to feel that connection and let it help you heal. Visualization is a powerful healing technique. Visualize roots extending downward from your body into the core of the earth. Feel the earth’s strength empowering you.

Practice repeating affirmations like “I am safe. I am secure. I am balanced. I am being guided and protected. I am loved and supported.”

We believe in the importance of holistic healing for recovery. Contact us today for more information on treatment.

Creating Better Habits

Written by Enlightened Recovery on . Posted in 12 Step Program, Healthy Living. No Comments on Creating Better Habits

A major factor in our daily lives, and in our addictions and mental health issues, is our habits. We often develop habits that are unhealthy and self-destructive. Along with our addictive behaviors, we also often neglect self-care and engage in toxic patterns. A helpful way to think about recovery is the idea of implementing better habits for ourselves.

We might tend to think of our bad habits as the smaller things we do like biting our nails, or hitting snooze on the alarm and being late for work, but our habits make up everything we do. We have our daily habits, our relationship habits, our habitual thoughts, feelings and behaviors.

When we are dealing with addictions, depression and other challenges, we often struggle to feel motivated. We can have a very hard time accomplishing even small tasks. Sometimes we don’t show up for our responsibilities. We feel like we’re disappointing, hurting and betraying ourselves and the people who care about us. Our habits have a lot to do with it.

When it comes to assessing ourselves and our lives, we often tend to see things through a filter of negativity. We beat ourselves up for procrastinating. We judge and criticize ourselves for our bad habits. We compound our challenges when we focus on how ashamed we feel. When we put ourselves down, we aren’t helping ourselves do better, we’re actually chipping away at our resolve and determination.

To create better habits, let’s start by encouraging ourselves instead. “I am strong enough to do what’s best for myself. I have the power to change my habits. I can do anything I set my heart and mind to.”

What are some habits we can start to implement that would help us prioritize our mental and emotional wellbeing? We can start setting intentions around those things- getting enough sleep, making time to meditate, eating healthy foods, exercising. Joining a support group or starting therapy. Journaling, being creative, doing things we enjoy.

We can create habits around choosing patience when we are stressed or frustrated, forgiveness when we are angry, compassion when we are in conflict. Habits we can try are:

-Taking deep breaths when we feel our thoughts starting to race or our hearts beating faster.

-Meditating on forgiveness, using affirmations like “I choose to forgive. I choose to be at peace.”

-Meditating on compassion,“I see your hurt. I see your humanity.”

We can consciously look at our habits- how we respond to life’s daily challenges, how we react to other people, what directions we allow our thoughts and feelings to go in. Then we can intentionally begin to create habits for ourselves that feel better and serve us more.

Treatment at Enlightened Recovery includes working with wellness and nutrition, life skills and recovery planning. Call (833) 801-LIVE.

A woman opens up during depression treatment in New Jersey

One Day at a Time

Written by Enlightened Recovery on . Posted in 12 Step Program, Healthy Living. No Comments on One Day at a Time

Our addictions, emotional challenges and mental health issues can be so damaging and destructive that we become consumed with fear, especially fear of the future. We experience anxiety and panic about the unknown. Being unable to live with uncertainty can be paralyzing. We dread what’s to come and often think in terms of worst-case scenarios. “Will I ever recover? Will I always hurt the people I love? Will I ever get out of this?”

When our mindset is based in negativity and fear, it can feel impossible to be hopeful and optimistic. People use all kinds of sayings to help themselves get through life’s challenges, and one we commonly hear is “One day at a time.” When we are filled with anxiety, how do we implement this idea, and how can it help us?

It starts with a conscious choice to choose to take things day by day, and to bring our focus back to that concept over and over again. Every time our minds leap to fears about the future, we can repeat “one day at a time” as an affirmation to help calm and soothe ourselves. We can remember that as much as we might try to plan, life will always throw us unexpected curveballs. It is up to us to take each challenge in stride with as much grace, patience and flexibility as possible, one day at a time.

This new mentality helps us to live in the moment and appreciate the small, beautiful everyday things in life that we often take for granted. Taking the time to watch the sunset, choosing to be present and attentive with a loved one rather than rushing through a conversation, giving energy to gratitude throughout our day- all of these can help us to stay grounded and centered in the present moment. This can drastically reduce our anxiety, panic and overwhelm. It helps us to focus on individual moments of happiness, which helps us manifest more happiness and grow our sense of wellbeing.

Taking things one day at a time requires that we practice consciously choosing faith. Can we choose to have faith in the unfolding of our lives? Can we choose to trust in divine timing? Can we choose to believe that our higher power is working with us for our highest good? This can be a challenge for many of us who are accustomed to letting our fearful anxiety dictate our thoughts, choices and actions. When we relax into our faith, we allow the flow of healing to come to us. When we act out of fear, we block that healing.

Learning new coping strategies is an important part of recovery. Enlightened Recovery can help you find techniques that work for you. Call (833) 801-LIVE.

How Do We Forgive?

Written by Enlightened Recovery on . Posted in 12 Step Program, Healthy Living. No Comments on How Do We Forgive?

Choosing to forgive people who have hurt us may seem like a monumental task that is easier said than done. We might know it’s important to forgive because we don’t want to hold onto the anger that is poisoning us and making us sick, but how do we go about forgiving? Choosing to forgive others can be especially hard when they are still hurting us, when they are no longer in our lives, or when we have a hard time connecting with them because the conflict feels insurmountable. Here are a few suggestions you can implement in your efforts to forgive.

Compassion

When we hurt others, it is usually because we are in pain ourselves. Can we choose to see the suffering inside the person who hurt us? Pain is something we all share. The people who have hurt us are no exception. Try to remind yourself that their pain is likely what caused them to act in hurtful ways in the first place. When we believe in the interconnectedness of humanity, we know that having compassion for other people’s pain goes a long way in healing the division between us.

Understanding

Along with compassion comes understanding. We can try to understand what caused people to behave in the ways they did. We can try to put ourselves in their shoes. Even if we are convinced we would never do what they did, we can remember that we all have made mistakes and hurt the people we care about. This is a universal truth, and no one is exempt from it. Instead of focusing intently on how they hurt us, we can choose to look at their pain and understand that their pain drove them to do things they might not have done otherwise.

Love

The people we are most hurt by are often the people we love the most. We’re not nearly as affected by the hurtful actions of people with whom we have no connection. While we are working to forgive, can we focus on the love we share rather than the conflict in question? Try to recall happy memories you shared. Conjure up the love you felt. Hold onto that feeling and meditate on it. Yes this person hurt you, and it might still hurt just thinking about it, but can you allow your love to be your primary focus instead?

Directing our energy towards compassion, understanding and love can transform us from the inside out, make it easier to forgive those who’ve wronged us, and bring us a sense of peace.

Forgiveness is an important part of our healing. The staff at Enlightened Recovery has years of experience helping people work through the various issues that come up in recovery. Call (833) 801-LIVE for more information on how we can support you.

Counting Our Blessings

Written by Enlightened Recovery on . Posted in 12 Step Program, Healthy Living. No Comments on Counting Our Blessings

One of the major factors contributing to our mental health issues is our mindset. We often direct our energy towards thinking and feeling the things that cause us the most pain and fear. We can even become fixated on them. Examples include our tendency to dwell on the things we want but don’t have, the ways in which other people’s lives are better than ours, the situations in our lives we’re unhappy about. We engage in thought patterns that deplete us of our energy, bring us down and block our ability to think positively. We instinctively hold ourselves back and close ourselves off to happiness and healing.

Our subconscious minds are designed to keep us safe, but this sometimes translates into keeping us confined to the habitual thought patterns of lack and negativity, to keep us from expanding and pushing out of our comfort zones in search of something more. What would happen if instead of focusing on all that is wrong or difficult in our lives, we gave more energy to thinking about everything that is life-affirming, positive and beautiful?

We may have heard the advice to “count your blessings,” but we often pass this over or forget it altogether when we are struggling and caught up in our painful thoughts. Sometimes when we are depressed, we almost instinctively want to stay depressed, because it can be easier to stay in that place than to do the difficult work of tackling the mindsets that are keeping us stuck.

When we are ready to start pulling ourselves out of that place, we can implement changes that may seem small but which have hugely transformational effects. Counting our blessings is one of these tools that we can introduce to start changing our mentalities. You woke up today. That is a blessing. If your mind responds with thoughts like “well, I wish I hadn’t woken up at all, I wish I weren’t alive,” try to counter those thoughts with affirming reminders that you have the capability to heal. It takes time and practice, but it is so worth it. Did you have enough food to eat today? That is a blessing. Were you able to see the sky, the sun, trees, birds flying? Those are blessings.

We can choose to see anything in our lives as blessings, including our challenges. Depression is a blessing in that it forces us to heal our pain. Without depression, we might just ignore our pain and live an emotionless life. We could choose to see it as a catalyst for deeper healing.

Listing our blessings can ease our anxiety, help us to think more positively, and allow us to live in gratitude.

Changing our thought patterns is a powerful, effective tool for holistic healing. Call (833) 801-LIVE to get the support you need.