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Self-Love – Not Sold in Stores

Written by Enlightened Recovery on . Posted in 12 Step Program, Healthy Living. No Comments on Self-Love – Not Sold in Stores

Our addictions and mental health challenges are often a result of a deep self-hatred and painful feelings of inadequacy, shame and unworthiness. When we are working to recover from our issues, our focus is often on abstaining from our addictive behaviors and drugs of choice, but we’re missing a hugely important element of recovery if we don’t address our damaged self-esteem and chronic self-loathing.

When we’re trying to heal, one of the first things many of us try are pharmaceutical medications. While these can help balance the chemicals in our minds and get us out of crisis mode, they don’t heal the wounds that make us hate ourselves, wounds that are often contributing factors in our addictions and mental health problems in the first place. No pill can make us address the reasons why we feel so inadequate and unworthy. We have to do that for ourselves.

Therapy, writing and having a spiritual practice are all tools that can help us along our self-love journey. They allow us to connect with our real selves, our inner strength, the dreams and goals we had for ourselves before our problems made us forget them.

Medication is one of the many things we buy when we’re struggling to recover. We also spend money and energy accumulating beauty products, clothing, shoes, gadgets, even extra homes and cars, with the hope that the rush we get from them will help assuage our recurring feelings of self-doubt and self-hate. We hide behind makeup and status symbols. We go out partying too much. We spend frivolously. We use “retail therapy” to try to feel better when we are in pain.

Nothing we buy will make us love ourselves. No material object can make us feel good about ourselves. That work has to come from us. We have to be willing to really look at ourselves and our issues, with honesty and openness. We have to become more conscious of our thought patterns and life cycles. We have to address all of the factors that made us hate ourselves in the first place.

When it comes to our issues, whether it’s old stuff or new- lingering fears from childhood trauma, or a recent breakup- all of it impacts our feelings of self-worth. We might be tempted to try to skip the difficult part of recovery, because it can be painful and scary to look at ourselves and our lives honestly, and we might find ourselves using material goods as a crutch or distraction. As we learn more about recovery and what that means for our lives, we realize our self-worth has to come from within. When we’re ready to do the work, we experience healing that is far more liberating than anything we can buy.

We’re never totally alone in our recovery. Enlightened Recovery is here to help. Call (833) 801-LIVE.

Individual getting support for heroin addiction.

How Trauma Can Affect Our Behavior

Written by Enlightened Recovery on . Posted in Healthy Living, Mental Health. No Comments on How Trauma Can Affect Our Behavior

Trauma is something we are deeply affected by, often long after the initial traumatic experience. We store the emotional memory of our trauma within our subconscious mind, which then directs the majority of our thoughts and actions. Our behavior, therefore, can be greatly impacted by our traumatic experiences.

Many of us develop strong fears, phobias, neuroses, complexes and sensitivities as a result of trauma. When we have been hurt or scared in a certain way, we might then be easily triggered by anything that is similar or reminiscent. We might find ourselves being reactive or agitated. We might be easily frightened, disturbed or angered. We may react to other people with defensiveness. We may behave in erratic or volatile ways. Some of us may escalate and become aggressive, even violent.

The people who come into contact with us might be confused by our behavior. They might be overwhelmed, surprised or alarmed by it. To them our behavior might seem irrational or illogical. We might make them uncomfortable. Our behaviors may be extremely bothersome or even scary to other people, especially if they don’t know where they are coming from, or if they don’t have prior knowledge of our trauma and trauma responses. If we become violent, we often scare the people around us, who may fear for their safety as well as ours.

Trauma can cause us to develop behaviors that we use to distract ourselves from our pain, to try to forget, to numb ourselves. These behaviors often become addictive, and we struggle to heal not only our initial trauma but all the residual trauma incurred by our addictions. We can also develop toxic thought patterns as a result of our trauma, such as limiting beliefs about ourselves. These thought patterns can cause us to behave in all sorts of harmful ways, such as lashing out at other people or isolating ourselves.

When we’ve been traumatized, our behavior can have destructive effects on our relationships. It can cause us to separate and distance ourselves from other people. It can also cause them to want or need to separate themselves from us.

When we are working to heal from our addictions and mental health issues, there are many factors at play, our behaviors being one of them. The more we learn about ourselves and our behaviors, the more we can help ourselves heal.

To help you and your loved ones deal with the many effects of trauma, the community at Enlightened Recovery offers therapy, mentoring, intervention services and more. Call (833) 801-LIVE.

Healing From Our Fears

Written by Enlightened Recovery on . Posted in 12 Step Program, Healthy Living. No Comments on Healing From Our Fears

When we are struggling with addictions and mental health issues, we can find ourselves consumed by fear. We often use our addictive behaviors and thought patterns to bury our fears, whether consciously or subconsciously. We distract ourselves from our fears and try to run from them. We self-medicate to numb ourselves and to avoid having to really look at our fears. For some of us, it’s our relationship to fear that is a major contributor to our mental health problems and addictions in the first place.

How do we heal from our fears? This is a fundamental, very real, very challenging part of the healing process. When we’re working to recover from our addictions and mental health issues, we can’t ignore the underlying fears that we may or not be conscious of. When we look at the fears head on, we can address them and allow ourselves to experience real healing.

Instead of only focusing on the surface symptoms such as anxiety, nervousness, and restlessness, let’s dig deeper at what fears those feelings represent. This can take time, patience and soul searching. Sometimes we become so mired in our repetitive thought patterns and addictive behaviors that we need the help of an outside person such as a therapist, mentor, spiritual guide or trusted friend.

Meditate, still your thoughts, and get quiet. Give your inner voice the space to communicate with you. Allow the guidance of your higher power to come through. Sometimes we consume ourselves so much with our recurring thoughts, worries, problems and issues that we disconnect ourselves from our higher truths.

Give yourself time and space. Relationships of any kind can make it more difficult to connect with our inner selves.

Ask yourself, “what am I afraid of? What are my fears?” Some common ones many of us share are fear of failure and fear of success, fear of being judged by other people, fear of inadequacy, fear of being abandoned or replaced, fear of being alone. Name your fears.

Imagine the fear is already healed, and you’re no longer suffering from it. How would you feel? List these things for yourself. Examples include feeling at peace, grounded, secure, stable, confident, strong, powerful, brave, fearless.

Imagine you’ve conquered that fear. How would that feel? You’d be proud of yourself. You’d feel like you can transcend anything. You’d feel relieved, empowered and grateful to have healed your suffering.

What affirmations can you say to reflect those feelings? Write and repeat statements for yourself from the perspective of having freed yourself from your fears. “I am at peace within myself. I am healed. I am brave. I am confident. I am powerful.”

Fear is a part of life for all of us. Facing our fears and working through them, rather than running from them, is crucial to our healing.

Sometimes we need support to face our fears. Let the community at Enlightened Recovery help. Call (833) 801-LIVE.

Professional providing medical supervision for benzodiazepine addiction treatment in New Jersey.

Do Something Good for Yourself Every Day

Written by Enlightened Recovery on . Posted in Addiction Recovery, Healthy Living. No Comments on Do Something Good for Yourself Every Day

The idea of making time for self-care can be daunting. We feel like we don’t have enough time, or we feel like there is so much to do, it would be selfish to make time for ourselves. The truth is, the more we can find balance and take care of ourselves, the more we can give to others, and the less likely it is that we will burn out. How would it feel to set the intention to do one good thing for ourselves every single day?

The demands of daily life can be so overwhelming, the last thing we want to do is add more obligations to our already full schedules. If we can carve out even just a little time, however, we’ll start to see huge changes in our mental and emotional wellbeing. Chances are we’ll feel less stressed, reactive and overwhelmed. We might be more patient and more present. We’ll enjoy the small, beautiful moments on a more regular basis and pause to feel grateful for the blessings we’re experiencing in those moments. Incorporating just one small act of self-care on a daily basis can do wonders for your mood and emotional resilience. You might find appreciating yourself feels so good you’ll want to find ways to add more self-care to your daily routine.

Here are some thoughts:

Commune with Nature

Nature’s healing benefits are transformative. Taking a few minutes to listen to the wind in the trees or to sit by the ocean can be soothing and help calm an anxious, restless mind. Find a nearby park or body of water, take off your shoes, and let yourself feel more grounded and centered.

Meditate

Taking on a meditation practice might sound daunting in and of itself, but once you’ve practiced even a little, the calming effects of meditation will be something you look forward to. Pick a mantra or affirmation, focus on your breathing, or do something meditatively i.e. focusing on one thing with intention, like walking or cleaning up.

Solitude

Give yourself some alone time. Take a bath or read a book before bed, go for a walk in the morning, pause on the porch before coming in after a long day. However you can do it, give yourself time to recharge. Always answering the demands of daily life, we get little time to ourselves.

Some of the emotional stresses that can contribute to depression and anxiety can be alleviated by focusing time on self and self-care. You deserve it, and the people around you will benefit from a calmer, more present, happier you. You’ll be better able to focus on the tasks at hand, and more prepared to deal with whatever comes your way.

Learning to prioritize self-care is something many of us struggle with. Enlightened Recovery can help. Call (833) 801-LIVE for support.

The Importance of Solitude for Healing

Written by Enlightened Recovery on . Posted in Healthy Living, Mental Health. No Comments on The Importance of Solitude for Healing

Many of us struggling with addictive behaviors and issues with our mental and emotional health often find ourselves in toxic relationships, fear-based relationship patterns, and unhealthy interpersonal dynamics. Many of us have a very hard extricating ourselves from unhealthy relationships, and many of us fear being alone. Whatever our addiction story entails, many would agree on just how hard it can be to be alone, and also on how important solitude is for healing.

When in a co-dependent relationship, it can be easy to forsake some of your identity for the sake of the partnership. For some of us, we give up our identities entirely, and the relationship is our main focal point, or worse, our obsession. It can be nearly impossible to focus on your own healing when thinking of yourself not as your individual self but as this other person’s partner. We might start to think of ourselves only in terms of the relationship, rather than all the things that made up our personality before the relationship: our interests and passions, our goals and dreams. Instead we have become simply this person’s partner, and our true self no longer exists for us. The problems in the relationship become all-consuming, and we consistently prioritize the other person and the relationship over our own health, wellness, even safety. Perhaps we totally lose interest in our lives. Perhaps we feel we can’t live without this other person, and the thought of losing them sends us into despair. It is safe to say we have become reliant on this other person, on this relationship, and on our current life circumstances to define us. The status of our relationship determines our self-worth, and if we are at odds in our partnership and we don’t have the strength of our inner power to bolster us, we just fall apart. We analyze everything through the lens of the relationship and prioritize the conflict, the issues, the drama over our own inner peace.

As we continue to generate more inner turmoil, we come to see that our circumstances are reflecting that turmoil. Eventually, for many of us, we feel enough is enough, and that we can no longer withstand it. That is when we opt for what many of us knew we needed all along, solitude.

Solitude can be daunting and even terrifying when you’ve been emotionally dependent upon other people for so long, but it allows you to do the hard work of going inward to process your pain and fears, to sit with yourself and grow stronger in your sense of self, to ground and center yourself in your purpose. Your time in solitude can help you to discover new healing tools you might not otherwise have been open to receiving. Be brave and know that you have the power to do what is best for yourself.

We listen, and we understand. Many of us have personal experience with recovery. Enlightened Recovery offers therapy, mentoring, and friendship. Contact us today.

Moving Through Grief

Written by Enlightened Recovery on . Posted in Healthy Living, Mental Health. No Comments on Moving Through Grief

Losing a loved one can cause us indescribable grief. Sometimes there are no words for the pain we feel, the emotional anguish that can leave us reeling for years afterwards. There is no one way to grieve, but there are some ways to help ourselves through the process.

Be with people who understand your pain, who can empathize, and who make you feel safe to talk, cry or express anger. Avoid being with people who tell you to “get over it,” who try to rush the mourning process, or who try to sweep the sadness under the rug of positive thinking. Sometimes when we are grieving, the last thing we need to hear is “she’s in a better place,” or “he’s always with you in spirit.” Instead we might need the safe space and the time to express our sadness and have it be met with compassion and empathy.

Sit with the pain rather than trying to avoid it. Grief and the memories we associate it can stay with us for years, sometimes for a lifetime. Trying to pretend it’s not there, or that we’re ok when we’re not, only hurts us more. Stopping ourselves from crying because it hurts too much, or because we don’t feel safe with the people we’re around, can cause us to hold onto that pain energy in unhealthy ways, creating emotional blocks within us. There is a saying that grief is like a river, we must let it flow. Cry when you need to. It can feel so much better to let it out than to bury it. Running from our pain sets us up for all kinds of self-destructive coping mechanisms, emotional problems and addictive behaviors.

Honor your loved ones. This can be done by writing them a letter or a song, lighting a candle for them, or dedicating a special meal or holiday to them. Journal about the memories you shared with them. If you are holding onto anger towards them, or towards yourself in the form of regret or shame, work to forgive and let go of those burdens. Some of us talk to our loved ones who have passed on and continue to receive signs and guidance from them. When our loved ones pass, it can help us to keep their memory alive, to keep them present in our minds and hearts, to share our memories of them with others. When it comes to grief, one of the most damaging things we can do for our mental and emotional health is try to suppress it rather than looking for healthy ways to express it.

We listen, and we understand. Many of us have personal experience with recovery. Enlightened Recovery offers therapy, mentoring, and friendship. Call (833) 801-LIVE today.

Burned Bridges

Written by Enlightened Recovery on . Posted in Addiction Recovery, Healthy Living. No Comments on Burned Bridges

One thing many addicts and people with mental health issues share is a history of tumultuous relationships, broken friendships and burned bridges. When we are struggling with the inner turmoil of anxiety, depression, other mental illnesses, and addictions, we struggle to maintain healthy relationships. Our interpersonal relationships are often filled with misunderstanding, miscommunication, falling outs, and missed opportunities for learning, growth and reconciliation.

Manifesting Conflict

What we think about, we attract. What we feel we deserve is what we will choose for ourselves. This is evident in the relationships we choose. When we are in conflict within ourselves, we are more likely to attract relationships that reflect that conflict. We might have friends who insult us, or partners who emotionally abuse us. We might find ourselves arguing with family members more often than not. We feel overwhelmed, drained, frustrated and resentful, all of which compound the emotional issues we were already experiencing and cause us to attract more of the same. Oftentimes we get to the point where we feel we just can’t take it anymore. This issue, this argument, or this person, is not worth the trouble anymore. And we cut them off. Perhaps we are afraid to address the issues with them. Perhaps we are avoiding the anxiety that can come with confrontation. Perhaps we feel this person has crossed a threshold of respect they can’t recover from.

Whatever the scenario, if we believe that we manifest everything in our lives, both good and bad, then we must admit that we manifested this conflict. What inside of us created it? Was it an inner fear of being unworthy or unlovable? Was it fear of trusting others after being betrayed? Whatever it is, when we can take responsibility for our manifestation, we can begin to unravel the pieces of the puzzle, solve the conflicts in our current relationships, and begin to attract healthier, more stable relationships and circumstances into our lives.

Mindfulness

When we come to understand our power and responsibility in having manifested what we didn’t want in our lives, i.e. relationship turmoil, we can begin to practice more mindfulness in order to start manifesting the things we do want. We can choose our words, thoughts, actions and energies with more care and more attention. We can direct our energies in positive ways. We can begin to prioritize an inner peace and wellness, thereby manifesting more of the same reflected back to us in our realities. We can decide we want stable, healthy relationships in which we feel safe and secure. We can choose to work to create that same stability, health, safety and security within ourselves, giving us the power to create relationships with those elements, and to help those around us to do the same.

It can do a world of good to be surrounded by people who understand and empathize. Enlightened Recovery is here for you. Call (833) 801-LIVE today.

Bring Springtime Into Your Aromatherapy

Written by Enlightened Recovery on . Posted in Alternative Therapy, Healthy Living. No Comments on Bring Springtime Into Your Aromatherapy

April showers bring May flowers, which means it is time to start bringing more flowers into your life. Aromatherapy is a great way to bring more flowers, and their healing essences, into your recovery to connect to the season of awakening.

Flower Essences For Spring

Essential oils of flowers can be healing, soothing, invigorating, and simply delightful during the springtime. You can use essential oils in many ways to maximize flower based aromatherapy. Essential oils can be used in diffusers, which spread the smell throughout your home or space. You can also apply essential oils directly to the skin as an alternative to perfume. In addition to smelling like the purest essence of flowers, you’ll also be giving your mind, as well as your body, a wealth of benefits. Some essential oils can be used in cooking. If you’ve never had rose or lavender flavored ice cream, spring is the perfect time to try a new recipe. Add lavender or rose essential oils to chocolate treats for a flowery touch. Sip on flower based tea and breathe in the aromas.

Here are some of the most healing flower essential oils to use as aromatherapy this spring:

  • Lavender: Lavender is a healing wonder of nature. You can use lavender on wounds, acne, scars, and more. What lavender is most well known for is its soothing, relaxing scent. Lavender can reduce anxiety and induce a lovely state of calm.
  • Rose: Perhaps no flower scent in the world is as immediately recognizable and wonderfully potent as rose. Rosewater is becoming a popular beauty trend. Just like lavender, rose essence can have a calming effect.
  • Jasmine: Springtime can be a time of romance, possibly thanks to the Jasmine flower which is known to be an aprhodisiac. Feelings of love can benefit your recovery in more ways than romance. Spark a romance with yourself by sipping on Jasmine tea or using jasmine oil.
  • Ylang Ylang: With a name like that, ylang ylang can only mean happiness. This bright and happy flower scent is known for being uplifting.

Other ways to bring in the flowers

Fresh flowers are always a guaranteed way to bring aromatherapy into your life. Springtime is full of beautiful blooms which you can bring home or go visit. During the spring, many local farms or botanical gardens put on beautiful displays of flowers and invite the public to tour the grounds. If you can’t make it to flowers, simply bring a fresh bunch of seasonal flowers home. While walking around your house, make sure to stop and smell the flowers.

The best move to make for recovery from drug abuse is the quickest move by calling and asking for help immediately. Recovery is possible and healing will take place in mind, body, and spirit. Enlightened Recovery Solutions offers a holistic based, 12-step inspired, clinically proven program for alcoholism and co-occurring disorders. Call (844) 234-LIVE today for information on our partial care programs.

yin yang symbol made of green leaves and wood

Yin And Yang: The Good In The Bad, The Bad In The Good

Written by Enlightened Recovery on . Posted in Healthy Living, Recovery. No Comments on Yin And Yang: The Good In The Bad, The Bad In The Good

When you look at a yin and yang symbol, you see five things. First, you see a black half of a circle. Second, you see a small white circle within that black half. Third, you see the white half of a circle. Fourth, you see a small black circle within that white half. Lastly, you see the cohesive whole, the entire circle with the black half, the white half, the black circle, and the white circle. What you’re looking at is more than a symbol. What you’re looking at is an entire philosophy of life. There is everything and there is nothing. There is nothing in the everything and there is everything in the nothing. Fullness in the emptiness. Sadness in the happiness. The yin yang symbol represents the philosophy that life is incredibly non-dualistic, meaning there is a little bit of something in everything. In the good there is bad and the bad there is good. Everything in life has balance, something that addicts and alcoholics in recovery are constantly striving for.

People in recovery who go to treatment learn a lot in their group therapy sessions, including different problematic thought patterns like black and white thinking. Addiction has a tendency to create an all or nothing mindset which can create issue in other areas of life during recovery. Confronting catastrophic, divided thinking is a journey many in recovery take. We can all learn from the yin yang philosophy and incorporate it into our recovery by first looking at our addiction through this lens.

Our addiction had a payoff, beyond the chemical production of pleasure in our brains. For many of us, addiction was a means of survival. Quite literally, addiction changes the operations of the midbrain, the section of the brain responsible for the operations of survival like eating. Our need for survival went deeper than our basic instincts. A large number of people who become chemically dependent on drugs and alcohol experienced trauma in their lifetime. Drugs and alcohol offered a relief from that trauma. Though addiction can become dangerously “bad” in many ways, it has some “good” because it is helping someone survive- until it doesn’t anymore. As someone hits their ‘bottom’ in addiction, they may feel like they are in one of the worst times of their life. Still, there is good in the bad. This bottom is necessary to bring them to recovery. Recovery is good. As good as recovery is, it still happens to people who have experienced a tremendous amount of bad in their life. Ongoing, we continue to experience both the good and the bad, and each is preparing us for the other, creating the foundation for the comprehensive whole of our lives, the wholeness we have been given only as a result of getting sober.

The best move to make for recovery from drug abuse is the quickest move by calling and asking for help immediately. Recovery is possible and healing will take place in mind, body, and spirit. Enlightened Recovery Solutions offers a holistic based, 12-step inspired, clinically proven program for alcoholism and co-occurring disorders. Call (844) 234-LIVE today for information on our partial care programs.

How You Can Celebrate The Earth This Earth Day On April 22

Written by Enlightened Recovery on . Posted in Healthy Living, Sober Living. No Comments on How You Can Celebrate The Earth This Earth Day On April 22

If you’re feeling anxious about the marijuana-laden “420” celebration coming up on April 20th, you can skip that holiday and head straight toward Earth Day, happening on April 22nd. Earth day is a planet wide celebration honoring our beloved blue ball which we call home. Recovery can give you a lot of perspective, including a whole new view on the way you relate to the planet. In recovery, you learn to look at your body like your home. By holistically connecting with your body, you learn how drug and alcohol abuse damages that home. Self-care is how you learn to respect, honor, and nourish your body instead of harming it. The same lessons apply to planet earth as you realize that every part of your life is in a way your home. Each part of your life, like the planet you live on, deserves the same conscious, humble respect as your physical form. Earth day is the perfect opportunity to put some of your recovery tools into practice for making changes, getting grounded, and celebrating life.

Get more eco-friendly

Thankfully, it is easier today than ever to live a more eco-friendly life on a budget. Shop for “green” and eco-friendly products made with recycled materials, sustainable practices, and non-toxic chemicals. Ditch your harmful toxins and chemicals safely. Opt for more sustaianable and reusable products instead of plastics and harmful chemicals. Introduce more solar to your house where possible and put mindfulness notes over the light switches to remind yourself to turn lights off. You can do simple things like switch all of your bills to email in order to reduce paper, and much more.

Ditch plastic for a day, or a year

Plastic is one of the biggest threats to our planet. Finding reusable products not made of plastic is the perfect antidote. Look for glass products that help you reuse, like glass straws and glass storage containers for the kitchen. Use reusable grocery bags instead of paper or plastic ones.

For all of the plastic and paper you do end up using at home, set up a recycling system. Recycling can be more than paper and plastic. Set up a can for aluminum, glass, paper, and plastic. Make it part of your regular routine to take recycling to a donation center.

Plant a garden and get dirty

Even if you don’t have a backyard or a balcony, you can still get your hands in the dirt, or bring some earthly greenery into your home. Succulents are the easiest plants to tend for and don’t require much attention. Keeping a small herb garden is easy and makes your cooking more delicious than ever. Plenty of devices exist for growing small vegetables and fruits in your house as well. You can even buy a countertop composter for collecting food waste and turning it into rich soil for your plants.

Spend time outside

The best way to celebrate Earth day is by connecting to the earth. Get outside, kick off your shoes, and sink your toes into something natural. Take a walk, take a hike, lay in the grass, or swim in some natural water. Bring your mindfulness tools with you and notice all of your senses as you connect to the Earth. You’ll notice that your sympathetic nervous system slows down, you feel more relaxed, and you feel more at ease. Being a human on earth is a gift. Being a sober human on earth is even better.

The best move to make for recovery from drug abuse is the quickest move by calling and asking for help immediately. Recovery is possible and healing will take place in mind, body, and spirit. Enlightened Recovery Solutions offers a holistic based, 12-step inspired, clinically proven program for alcoholism and co-occurring disorders. Call (844) 234-LIVE today for information on our partial care programs.