Many of us living with addiction struggle against our illness, and therefore ourselves, for the entire duration of the addiction. We’re fighting against the truth that we are in fact addicts. We resist coming to terms with our harsh reality. When we’re ready, finally, to tackle the recovery process, the journey begins with a choice. We have to make the conscious decision that we want to heal, that we can’t possibly continue our lives going in this direction. Our lives have become unmanageable and our pain unbearable. When we’re finally at that point, what many of us refer to as rock bottom, we desperately want to get better. We miss our lives, the people we love, the people we used to be. We crave inner peace. When we’re not quite ready to do the work needed for recovery, we haven’t yet made that critical decision that we in fact need and want to heal.
We put off getting help even when we know we need it. We procrastinate on making decisions and deliberate on whether or not to seek out support. We try to convince ourselves our problem isn’t so serious. We try to persuade ourselves into thinking that we’ll be able to quit on our own. We tell ourselves this time will work, this time we’ll be successful. At the root of our ambivalence and procrastination is fear. We fear disclosing our secret to people, especially loved ones, because we don’t want to disappoint them. We don’t want them to be ashamed of us. We fear being judged, rejected, scorned and shunned. Many of us are already isolating ourselves so much that we don’t want to lose what little connection to our loved ones we may still have. Even though we’re struggling, we’re deeply afraid, so we continue to suffer alone.
Many of us are understandably afraid of doing the work of recovery. We might not be ready to undertake the biggest challenge of our lives and face the greatest hurdles we’ll ever overcome. When we’re ready to do the work, though, we’ll make the conscious decision that we can’t maintain our lives the way they are anymore. We can’t continue to be the person we’ve become. Once we make the decision and start doing the work, we’ll start to feel a sense of fulfillment and peace many of us have never felt before.
At Enlightened Recovery, we’re here to give you the supportive community, understanding providers, and professional care you deserve. Call (833) 801-LIVE.