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Ways to Help Our Loved Ones Who Are Struggling

Written by Enlightened Recovery on . Posted in 12 Step Program, Family Recovery. No Comments on Ways to Help Our Loved Ones Who Are Struggling

Seeing our loved ones suffering with addictions and mental health issues can be difficult and painful. One of the hardest parts is not knowing how to help them. Here are a few suggestions.

Listen

Sometimes what people need most is simply to feel heard. They don’t necessarily need advice, just a listening ear. It can be therapeutic to get things off our chest. Keeping things bottled up inside of us can contribute to our depression and anxiety. Providing the safe space for your loved ones to process their emotions is a real gift. Allowing our emotions to flow and expressing ourselves is important for our mental health.

Check on Them

Call, text, email, stop by. However you can get them to respond to you so you know they’re ok, do it. They might not be able to express their appreciation if they’re in a very depressed place, but know that you are helping them by checking on them. You might be helping them through a panic attack. You might be giving them much needed relief from their anxiety or diverting them from their suicidal thoughts. Just knowing someone cares means a lot to us when we are struggling.

Understand

Release judgment. We might not be able to understand why our friend can’t get out of bed, or go to work, or why they’ve given up on their passions- but we can try. We may not have experienced addiction in the ways our friend does, but we can try to put ourselves in their shoes and imagine what kind of sadness and fear they might be feeling. Have compassion and empathy. Be patient with their struggles.

Commit to Boundaries

Addiction and mental health issues can contribute to our having codependent and/or toxic relationships. Sometimes when a loved one is actively using or struggling emotionally, there can be extra conflict and turmoil. You may feel disrespected, controlled or manipulated. You might feel hurt or uncomfortable. Create boundaries for yourself and commit to them. Don’t allow yourself to sacrifice your own peace of mind.

Learn About Enabling

Think about whether anything you’re doing might be enabling your friend’s addictive or toxic behaviors. Are you making excuses for their behavior? Are you allowing yourself to be manipulated in any way? Are they taking advantage of your kindness and help, being dishonest, or using you? When we allow our loved ones to involve us in these patterns, we are enabling them, even when that is not our intention.

At Enlightened Recovery we offer intervention services and recovery planning. Call (833) 801-LIVE for more information.

Avoidance

Written by Enlightened Recovery on . Posted in Family Recovery, Sober Living. No Comments on Avoidance

While in the disease of addiction, it is an extremely easy to slip into isolation and avoidance. Life becomes bleak and pessimistic. There may be no hope. Although everyone has their own story, the commonality is that there is a bottom. High bottoms and low bottoms, each person has their own threshold of what they can take. Unfortunately, it’s not up to anyone who had already lost the choice to drink or use. This is because all of these ways have ceased to work and it is becoming more clear that things have gotten out of control. When the mind continues to tell someone with addiction that everything is fine, what is really important will begin to take a back seat. Avoiding the signs that there may be a problem, will almost always result in self-sabotage.

Some people will begin to avoid painful feelings that stem from the past. It’s true that you don’t have to feel feelings if you don’t want to, and a good way to do that is to numb with alcohol and/or drugs. Individuals with addictions experience an inevitable progression into a downward spiral. Over time a high tolerance builds up for the substance and chaos. Soon the person who’s sick will be spending more time focusing on the behavior and less on reality. Once things really take a turn for the worse, it’s easy to slip into isolation mode. This is simply avoiding people, places, and things that could possibly interfere with whatever troubling behavior.

At some point, the person who is sick has the ability to find themselves with other like-minded people. The people surrounding the abusive behavior are in actuality only attracted to the unhealthy habit because they are doing the same thing. If someone isn’t ready to get help, using pressure it not going to help. It’s up to every person to decide when they are finished with avoiding life. The disease of addiction is really a way to escape from reality. When people learn how to handle life’s stressors in a healthy way there can be hope. Accepting help and beginning to use coping mechanisms learned in treatment, there can be progress.

If you are trying to learn healthy ways to cope without alcohol and/or drugs, do not give up! Our partial program at Enlightened Recovery is clinical, holistic, and 12 step based. Begin to heal your body, mind, and soul. For more information call: 844-234-LOVE.

Helping a Loved One With a Drinking Problem

Written by Enlightened Recovery on . Posted in Alcoholism, Family Recovery. No Comments on Helping a Loved One With a Drinking Problem

When a person drinks excessive amounts of alcohol despite the negative consequences that it causes, he or she might have a drinking problem. A person with a drinking problem cannot control how much they drink or continues to drink after having too much.

The signs of having a drinking problem are:

  • Drinking more than intended
  • Inability to cut back on drinking
  • A lot of time spent thinking about alcohol and the next drink
  • Missing work, school, or other important activities
  • Having relationship problems due to drinking alcohol
  • A lot of time recovering from the effects of alcohol

If you want to help a loved one who has a drinking problem, there are some important “Do’s” and “Don’ts” to be aware of before approaching him or her with your concerns.

  • Never use shameful, demeaning, or negative language
  • Do not threaten or plead
  • Do not lecture
  • Do not use labels when talking about the problem
  • Express your concern for his or her health
  • Offer to see an addiction counselor with him or her
  • Use “I” statements to express how his or her drinking affects you

A person might not be aware he or she has a drinking problem and could have an underlying mental health issue that needs to be addressed. Many people with depression, anxiety, or PTSD turn to alcohol as a way to escape the symptoms of their mental health condition. The individual can feel guilty, shamed, or have low self-esteem.

Join a support group with your loved one and talk to others in similar situations. Learn about the struggles that other members have with alcohol and listen to people share their stories with alcohol addiction. Connect with others in the group who can be a positive influence on you and your loved one.

Encourage your loved one to get help and offer to go with him or her to see a counselor or therapist who specializes in alcohol addiction. Attend group meetings with him or her and show your loved one that you care about his or her well-being.

Recovery begins with you. You have to make the decision, now, to call and ask for help, get to treatment, and start a transformational, life-changing journey. The power to heal is yours. Let Enlightened Recovery Solutions show you the path of holistic treatment, bringing together the best practices of evidence-based clinical care, proven alternative healing practices, and trusted 12-step philosophy. Call 833-801-5483 today for information on our partial care programs.

Group of people sharing experiences in a therapy session during fentanyl addiction treatment in New Jersey.

Addiction is a Family Disease

Written by Enlightened Recovery on . Posted in Addiction, Family Recovery. No Comments on Addiction is a Family Disease

While in the disease of addiction, one may feel that there is no way out. Denial can be so strong it might seem like tunnel vision. Friends and family members may begin to feel that there is no hope for recovery in their loved one- which is extremely depleting and frustrating. Those who have been enabling addictive behavior, must learn about the harms of enabling and why it must be immediately stopped. However, there should be no shame put forth onto the friends and family members of someone struggling with addiction. If there is to be any progress in getting a loved one struggling with addiction the help they need, it’s time for an intervention.

Interventions give those who truly care about their family member or friend struggling with addiction a safe place to have a necessary confrontation. There should be no judgment or prejudice. In no circumstances, should there be screaming and/or violence. Intervening in someone’s life must come from a loving place. There should be a plan put in place, such as detox and treatment. This is the first step in getting the person in the disease away from the substance’s tight hold. Loved ones may have a hard time standing firm, but they too need to accept the powerlessness of the disease. Things have to change and there’s no better time than the present.

There is always the chance that people will not accept help. If this happens there must be consequences. The enabling must stop and there will have to be new found means of survival or life without certain luxuries. The person with the additive behavior needs to hear from loved ones the harm they had caused and the pleas for action. Communication is key for an intervention to take place, which is why it is encouraged to utilize an intervention specialist. This way, family members can learn where they can go for help as well. If there is more than one family member in the addiction, arrangements will be made. It’s a solution for families as a whole because, in the end, it is a family disease.

 

Enlightened Recovery offers help with addiction, alcoholism and/or mental health. All whose affected will benefit from the healing process. Come to New Jersey and start fighting for a better life today. For more information call: 833-801-LIVE.

Waiting for the Transformation

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Recovery means different things to different people. For the addicts, there had only been one way to cope. This was to reach for the bottle or drug which has the power to mask the pain inside. There could have been other circumstances that come into play, but in the end, alcohol is there to make life appear easier. This might work at first, but those with addiction problems will find themselves worse off almost every time they decide to drink or use. The way the mind functions in an addict is to rationalize why what is so clearly the wrong decision, is a perfectly fine idea. It’s complete insanity and until there is a spiritual experience there will be a difficult road to go down.

Living in contrary action is how all addicts should operate. For example, there might be an instance when the mind is telling the addict that it’s okay to stop at a bar for food. The addict can also eat at a somewhere that doesn’t sell alcohol. Why would the addict choose the bar setting? The reason is that the mind wants what it wants, and that’s an excuse to drink or use. The mind is loud and can justify almost anything. If the addicts the mind win, there might be a relapse at risk.

This is why we suggest using certain tools in situations like these. A spiritual experience will give the addict hope. Having a connection with a God of their understanding, will guide them out of harm’s way. God’s will would will never include any substances. It’s as if a dog owner watched its beloved animal run into a pack of coyotes. This would be the same concept as him watch over the addicts destruction with sadness. That is why having a connection with a higher power is such a powerful tool for growth and serenity.  For those who have a hard time accepting there is a God, remember that it’s not a religious concept as much as it’s spiritual.

One of the main suggestions alcoholics highly recommend is the act of reaching out to others in need. Prayer or meditation is a way of coping when the addict feels they might take a drink or drug. Anytime an addict decides against the idea of the drink or participate in harmful behavior,, the transformation takes place. In recovery, the addict learns new behavior and that every day sober is a true miracle. Having spirituality will have a new meaning each day and the addict will find true love and happiness within.

Enlightened Solution’s holistic program is a spiritually based and will help guide addicts to see the light through our many methods of treatment. Finding self-love is important to move on from the past with grace and dignity. For more questions call: 833-801-5483.

Stress Around the Holidays

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With the holidays approaching, it’s important to have tools set in place for all the unforeseen events that take place during this special time of year.There are many triggers that come into play, and it’s suggested that alcoholics in early recovery take all precautions seriously. There are many tips that make the holiday season much more tolerable and even enjoyable!. When the alcoholic is able to stay in gratitude, it becomes more of a pleasant experience. After living through certain tragic holiday scenarios with families, it’s a new opportunity to spend quality time with loved ones. This is wonderful and will be cherished by all who can appreciate the miracle taking place. For those alcoholics that have lost everyone due to the consequences of the disease, there are ways to get through these times without falling into self-pity. It all comes down to gratitude. Staying grateful for each miracle, each day of sobriety, will always be helpful in staying connected to a higher power. When there is this connection, the alcoholic will be guided towards the light.

Alcoholics working a 12-step program must also stay connected to its members. There is an immense amount of support in these support groups and all alcoholics should “stay in the pack” when navigating life at this time of year. Being aware of triggers and hearing how others stay sober will keep the alcoholic in action. Being in a state of fear during these times can derail any alcoholic and hearing faith in others will hopefully give the alcoholic hope. In regards to the inevitable holiday parties,alcoholics must put their sobriety first. If that means skipping a year of festivities, then that’s what needs to happen. Nothing should come before sobriety. In many AA communities they offer meeting marathons on Thanksgiving and Christmas. These give alcoholics a safe place for 24 hours if needed. AA members are there to help each other through thick and thin, and these are especially dire times.

When the alcoholic begins to feel lonely and depressed, it’s time to remember what had gotten them to this point. Continuing down a path of self-love is imperative. Often times, people like to indulge in the holidays. The idea of giving a gift out of love and appreciation is wonderful. However, people can get too caught up in all of the stuff. While on a sober spiritual path, the alcoholic can begin to see that it’s not the stuff that makes people happy. It’s the love and laughter that brings joy. Abusing alcohol and drugs can skew anyone’s view on the meaning of the holidays. It’s when the alcoholic clearly sees the true beauty in why holidays are so special, that a transformation takes place. Grace flows freely and soon what felt like a chore to see family, will become a privilege. Those who are without families will find new ones in the rooms of AA and that is beautiful.

Our holistic, clinical and 12-step approach at Enlightened Recovery will teach patients the awareness of triggers and tools to stay on a solid road to recovery. Just like koi fish in our logo, patients will learn to rise prosper as they integrate back into the chaotic world. To learn more call: 833-801-5483.

Recovery

Written by Enlightened Recovery on . Posted in Addiction Recovery, Family Recovery, Recovery. No Comments on Recovery

Recovery, to recover, is the journey from the loss of connection to the authentic and whole self.  Some say that addiction forms when there is a fracture or a schism that occurs in the self.  The coping with substances and other addictions is the attempt to create a bridge to between these two places.  This bridge, though, is built on a shaky foundation and with faulty architecture.  Recovery is the process of bringing the entire structure down, usually in an act of self-demolition, and mending the schism so that a bridge is no longer needed.  

Returning to a state of wholeness is a reality that many addicts have difficulty imagining is truly possible.  Even when they can grasp this as possible for others, there are internal psychological mechanisms that block their ability to trust that it could be possible for themselves.  They must learn to let this internal dialogue exist while also taking the actions that others have taken to become free.  It is often only through the journey of doing recovery actions and experiencing the results when trust in the process emerges.  

The journey of recovery is a multi-pronged journey, involving healing on the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual planes.  The initial process of opening oneself to new ways of living on all of these planes can sometimes be an overwhelming experience.  The way of becoming recovered is to begin to know and understand that some suffering, in the case of overwhelm, leads to evolution.  Drawing on the image of a baby bird emerging from an egg, embrace the discomfort of breaking out of the shell of addiction so that you may fly free in the blue sky.  

There will come a point that the addict will arrive at a place of being recovered.  The healing will happen on all of these planes and then, they will continue on the path of recovery by walking this journey with others who need to heal.  The point of being recovered is both a peak to a mountain and a plateau.  The choice then is to continue onward and deepen in the new life that has been created.

 

Enlightened Recovery Solutions offers a harmonious approach to holistic treatment, bringing together the best of evidence-based, alternative, and 12-step therapies. Call us today for information on our transformation programs of treatment for addiction and alcoholism: 833-801-5483.

How to Help Someone with an Addiction Who Isn’t Ready for Treatment

Written by Enlightened Recovery on . Posted in Addiction, Addiction Recovery, Family Recovery, Recovery, Relationships. No Comments on How to Help Someone with an Addiction Who Isn’t Ready for Treatment

It’s important to understand exactly what addiction is, how addiction works, and the way that the effects of addiction are changing your friend. Addiction is a disorder, though some call it a disease, which interrupts the brain’s natural cycles, thereby having an effect on the body. Described as an “allergy”, addiction causes a tolerance and a dependency which keeps someone in a chemical cycle of reliance upon drugs and/or alcohol. Through specific brain mechanisms like the production of dopamine, an interaction with the reward center, and an alteration in the brain’s survival methods, drugs and alcohol become a priority.

The more memory association created by the more drugs and alcohol consumed, the more power these substances have over rationality, memory, judgment, morality, and physical health. Terms like “hijacking” are commonly used to describe addiction. In short, using drugs and alcohol becomes a matter of life or death in two ways. First, the brain is convinced that not continuing to be stimulated by drugs and alcohol will result in death. Two, if someone who is addicted continues to harm their mind and their body with drugs and alcohol, death is a legitimate threat. It seems like an obvious choice to someone who isn’t addicted. Inside the mind of the addicted brain, the choice is less clear and it feels as though the will to choose has been stripped.

Until your friend is ready to choose to recovery, there can be a long path of destruction and damage, to themselves, to you, and to others. The most painful challenge you are given is overcoming the need to fix everything, help with everything, and try to save them. A good friend will understand their limits and abilities. You can only do so much, say the right thing so many times in so many ways, and offer help beyond your means. There will come a point when you will need to recognize where your giving ends. You don’t have to abandon or reject your friend. In fact it is most important to let them know that while you cannot continue to give to them, you will always be there to support them. When they are truly ready for help, you will be there to help them. In between, you aren’t available as a financial supporter, problem solver, or anything else as it pertains to their addiction.

When the time is right, finding the right treatment program is essential. Enlightened Recovery Solutions offers an integrative treatment program approaching the holistic needs of recovery in mind, body, and spirit. In addition to clinical and alternative healing, our clients learn how to care for themselves and nurture their relationships.

Call us today for more information at 833-801-5483.

Coping With The Idea Of Death In Recovery

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Death is a human experience. The unfortunate condition of our life on earth is that eventually we will die. Until science confirms a way to sustainably live for longer amounts of years, if not eternally, this is the end that every human will come to. Drug addiction and alcoholism can make this end arrive sooner than necessary, or drag it out for a very long time. Intravenous drug use with heroin or cocaine can take a  life with one shot. Alcoholism can damage critical organs so severely it causes cancer illness, and death. For years, an addict or an alcoholic might feel as though they are dying. Many people describe recovery as a rebirthing process. People feel as though they are given a second chance to live, are born again, and experience life truly for the first time.

Cunning, Baffling, Powerful

However, drugs and alcohol are insidious substances. “Cunning, baffling, powerful!” is howThe Big Book Of Alcoholics Anonymous describes the insanity of alcohol. The various “bottom” to which most alcoholics and addicts fall is enough for them to be convinced that lifelong sobriety is worth the struggle so that they never have to feel so sick and miserable again. Unfortunately, alcoholism and addiction are cunning, baffling, and powerful. For so many, death becomes the only bottom. Addiction and alcoholism have a way of convincing people that another drink or drug won’t hurt. In the end, many people are convinced that death is the only option and dying would be easier than living.

Each day, addiction and alcoholism claim dozens of lives. Accidental overdose or intentional overdose, liver diseases, cancers, heart failure, stroke, and more, are the results of drinking and drug use. Being in recovery among other recovering addicts and alcoholics will sadly mean having to witness death. With each passing friend is a sore reminder of the reality of the disease. Though dying might sound like a better alternative, though relapsing might sound like relief even though death could be a guarantee- there is no coming back for a second chance.

Sometimes, the loss of a fellow recovered can be triggering and cause others to relapse out of fear. The logic is nonsensical, but so is addiction. Staying sober isn’t always easy, but it is one hundred percent possible with treatment, support, and healing.

If you are ready to change your life and live the life of recovery, call Enlightened Recovery today. We are here to help you heal. For more information, call 833-801-5483.

The Power Of Music Therapy

Written by Enlightened Recovery on . Posted in Addiction, Drugs & Alcohol, Family Recovery, Healthy Living, Mental Health, Recovery, Sober Living. No Comments on The Power Of Music Therapy

Music is a series of sounds put together in a composed way. Sound is energy and vibration. We hear sound and we emit sound. We can feel sound. Certain sounds can make us feel a certain way. Opera can bring a tear to the eye. Heavy metal can raise the heart rate and help express anger, frustration, and energy. For thousands of years, music has defined cultures, societies, and civilizations. Today, music is an integral part of life. What once had to be an attended concert or performance is now accessible with the touch of a finger. Music is literally at your fingertips all the time. We can hear it through the radio, through our digital devices, and our cars. When we need to hear that one song, get lost in the sound of an instrument, or listen to the words of powerful lyrics, music is there. We receive healing from music not just by listening to it but by making it as well.

Music therapy can include listening to music, singing, writing lyrics, playing instruments, attending shows, and dancing- anything having to do with interacting with music. During a music therapy session any kind of activity with music might be present, or many at once. However someone needs to find their expression through music is made possible in a music therapy session. Unlike art therapy which is primarily psychological, music therapy has an intensely physiological effect. Music gets the body moving, the blood moving, and the heart moving. How the heart beats in terms of heart rate has a working relationship with emotions. Music can simulate stress or relieve stress.

Making Music New

During treatment, there is an opportunity to redefine yourself musically. You can learn new kinds of music and dive into new worlds of genres, redefining what you thought you liked. You can also redefine music that once meant something to you but is dangerous today. Sometimes, old music which talks about drinking and using drugs, or the kind of music someone listened to while they were drinking and using drugs, can be triggering. Even in highly triggered states, music can help someone work through the challenge of cravings by using sound and lyrics to inspire strength, cope with difficult emotions, and release suppressed feelings.

Enlightened Recovery believes that there is healing power in the arts. Our unique program fuses together creative arts with holistic healing modalities in addition to traditional clinical treatment methods and therapies. For information on our programs, call us today at 833-801-5483.